Welcome 2011! The past year has had its challenges. And although we were not spared them God bought us through them!
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AWARENESS
HCTD Shining a Light On: IMMORTAL ME
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By Aurora Workman
Imagine suddenly leaving the ones you love and the ones who love you.
In 2010 devastating health issues challenged my mortality and the mortality of friends and family members. Health issues also made immortal the memories of friends and family who were “too young to die.”
I spent many days reflecting on my immortality. Not the way Belle thinks about her endless love to Edward where you have to die and become a cold hot lover. I have been pondering my life’s gifts-what have I imparted to this world. So I did two thing: I looked at the synonyms for the word “impart:” pass on, communicate, inform, tell, convey, report, teach and instruct. And then I reflected on how I have applied those verbs to my life.
Pass on. The most life changing event occurs when you have a child. Legacy, inheritance, birthright, bequest, heritage –what will I pass on. I love my name. It is my father’s name-Workman. I may not know past my Dad, but he made the name a good name.
Psalms 45:17
I will make thy NAME to be remembered in all generations: therefore shall the people praise thee for ever and ever.
At an early age I chose to keep my name as my legacy! My father crossed many oceans, rivers, highways and by-ways to find my mother and impregnate her to produce the gift that is moi! What a journey! Most readers probably are saying, “We all pass on our name.” Well that is not always true. Even single mothers, accomplish so much in their name, only to acknowledge their sperm donors by bestowing on their child(ren) (their seed) the last name of the SD. But my name, my name has added to my personality character, perseverance, determination to be great. My father imparted that failure in life is not an option. That mantra has given me the ability to try new and different things; to go places where everyone may not want to travel. My name has let me know that I am the author of my own story and my words put me on the path of my destiny. I have a name that personified me. A name that defined me for me!
Workman is my name and my “kujichagulia!” The life, my father’s life, the life behind the name, the life that is the name I know is the legacy that I want to pass on. So I hold on to it as my inheritance, and thus my father’s name becomes my children’s birthright. My maiden name is that of my married name and that of my children’s last name. It is the name that is a bequest to my husband. “Take my name and the name of our children, it is our gift to you!”
Proverbs 22:1
A [good] NAME [is] rather to be chosen than great riches, [and] loving favour rather than silver and gold.
Communicate. I am going to say what I need to say: To be open, willing and able to hear from others. I have to make known my desires for my children. I want them to be happy. I want them well educated and exposed to a variety of cultures including music, foods, literature and religions. I want to secure a home where there is communication, where expression and exhortation, where praise and worship resonate in the room. It does not have to happen all at once but as long as it is happening I know my children are well. Most of all I want my children to be able to say, “I love you” to one another. I know through experience after having been an angry teen and young adult, that when I changed my “language”, when I began to speak with peace and compassion in my heart, burdens were lifted. My, children, when we began to communicate-to speak out loud-like minds began to gravitate towards you. My children can have different interest and go different directionsbut the one constant that I hope I am communicating in words and deeds is that family is the strongest bond they can form here on earth. I always tell my children “You need one another-physically and spiritually.” Since the beginning of time-Genesis 11:5-7 The LORD said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.” Their strengths lie in each other. Their destiny is from God.
Inform. I hold terabytes of information. Probably about a gig of that info is trivial and would only serve me best as a contestant on Jeopardy! My children believe I am so smart! They ask me questions knowing I have an answer-so I give them one. I talk with them about the misuse of drugs and alcohol and too, smoking. They inform me about what they know an I listen intently. Each one of my children, 11, 9 and 3 informs me about the ills of these drugs. On the real, my children are informed. I listen to what they listen to and watch what they watch. And then I get them to inform me of what is said and what is heard. I need to hear from them. I need to know the level of exposure they receive. I need not to be suggestive and impose my impure thoughts on them. Their innocence is intact until I hear otherwise. I hope I have parted information that is life applicable. At all ages, Knowledge is power. My children have power.
Tell. The years I recall from 0-16. I tell my children about my childhood. I loved my childhood and remember it to be a happy and carefree one. I tell them about my parents singing, dancing and loving. I tell them about my relationships with my siblings. I recall my friends, my relatives, my neighbors, my classmates-I am frequently telling stories about my past. I tell my children about where I have travelled, what jobs I have done. I tell my children about my boyfriends and why I liked them. I tell them about the kind of student I was. My relationships with my teachers-the ones I liked and the ones I did not like. I tell them about my size, my height, the parts of my body I liked the parts I didn’t like. I tell them about the clothes I wore, the hairstyles I sported. I tell them how I acted at their ages. I tell them what activities I participated in and I tell them what sports I played. I tell them about my favorite gifts and the gifts I asked for and did not get. I tell them about my birthday parties and my celebrations for good grades. I tell them about what was happening in pictures and videos. I tell them about my Dad, their grandfather-who was shot and killed. I tell them how I felt, how I cried, how I feel about Dad’s murderer. I tell about the day my younger brother died. I tell about how much I miss them and how I talk to them. I tell them about their great-great grandmother and I tell them what she told me. I tell them about their great grandmother and the sassy and classy grandmother she was to me. And I tell them about their grandmother being a mother. I tell them about me so they in turn will tell me about them during every stage of their development. I tell them because they need to know that I’ve been there, done that…. I tell them so that they would know there is no mystery in my story. I tell them because I was a child once “with parents who sometimes did not understand.” I tell them because they need to know.
Convey: I know this for sure-talking to my children means everything to them. When I’m away from them I call. I pass on to them the lessons life has taught me. I convey to them in words and in deeds the importance of education. I instill in them the ability to stray away from destructive decisions. By 16 I was given the opportunities to make decisions but I chose to test the hot waters and got burned. I tell them about those decisions because nothing is new under the sun. Youth yesterday, today and tomorrow all go through a stage of development that says parents and other adults just don’t understand. Adolescents begin to develop a strong affiliation and devotion to ideals, causes, and friends. As a youth I have said the things to my parents that our children are saying to us now: I’ve been there, we all have: ”I hate you!” “You’re ruining my life!” “I can’t wait to get out of this house!” We have to convey to our children that these feelings will come to pass. I also need my children to know that Jesus dealt with this situation and in time they will come to realize their childish ways.
1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I SPAKE AS A CHILD, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Report: Kick the actual factual! I recount to my children the journey I underwent to bring them safely into this world! Each child has a unique story that foretold of their innate ability to endure. And when I tell their individual stories its as though I am giving a prophetic account of their indomitable spirits. But too, what my reporting does is tell of a love story of two individuals: one in the womb and one as the womb vanguard. For example: The First Toy:
Jayden at the gestational age of 4months found my umbilical cord was a wonderful plaything. She’d sleep mornings till afternoon. When I had a doctor’s appointment, the nurse use to place a buzzer on my swollen belly to wake Jayden so they can take her vitals-she’d awaken and fall right back to sleep (some things haven’t changed!) I felt as though she would yank my umbilical cord like Gomez would calling for Lurch! But Jayden would pull and pull as though she was ordering food, “Hey you out there-Feed Me!” She found away to make something to entertain her out of nearly nothing.
Boom! Boom! Boom! Xavier would kick me as though he were kicking down a door. He would wake me up around 6Am with that shit! I had to get up out of bed and walk around. I’d take my insulin shot, eat something and after a few laps around the living room he would be still. A morning baby he was and still is to date! What’s more interesting when he wakes me in the morning now-he reminds me to take my medicine, he wants breakfast, he exercises and I go back to sleep! Xavier desires structure. He wants to know the plan for the day.
Michele is my oxymoronic child. She was new wine in an old body. She is self reliant. It was four months before I even knew she existed! Michele survived even though I was unaware of her presence. She would flip-flop and turn so much trying to get in a comfortable position to sleep. She was restless when she slept. She’d wake three times: a little after the midnight hour, 2 AM and 4:45AM. And today she wakes around midnight –looks around and rolls over to sleep. At 2AM she needs a swallow of something to drink and then back to sleep. At 4:45AM if she’s in her bed she’d come directly to mine and climb in next to me- put the cover over her and fall fast asleep. Michele sleeps all over the bed-she is still a restless sleeper! She always wants to do things for herself. Michele is an old baby who has past this way before!
These reports about my children will help shape their character and build strong leaders. Jayden is inventive and ingenious. Xavier is consistent and ritualistic. Michele is self sufficient and restless. Giving my children an account of their beginnings is paving the path they will later walk.
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Teach: Teach them everything. Show them everything. Don’t take for grant it that they know or will pick it up. Educate them at home about life’s events, milestones and steps. Be the second greatest teacher in their lives, the first being Christ. This is so important: coach them, lecture them, school them! Teach them the power of prayer.
Psalms 119:33HE. TEACH me, O LORD, the way of thy statutes; and I shall keep it [unto] the end.
Instruct: From the time my children were born they received instruction.
Psalms 32:8
I will INSTRUCT thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.
Jayden, Xavier and Michele should realize that my immortality lies within each of them and that love abounds past this earthly flesh.
My immortality rest inside You!
Aurora Workman is The 2009 State University of New York Chancellors Award Receipient for Excellence in Professional Service. HCTD Salutes our Founder!
Love is a many splendid thing. Try it you may Love it!
